THE BILLY BASS SAGA: TRIAL OF THE CENTURY – Part 1

WORDS: Eugene C. Kruger IMAGES: Meta AI with Llama 3.

The courtroom is packed. In the corridors people jostle one another to get a look at the strangely dressed men and women who have filled the long, uncomfortable wooden benches. They sport colourful, long-sleeved shirts and garish slacks with lots of pockets, caps on their heads and sunglasses hanging on lanyards around their necks.   

In the accused dock is Billy Bass, looking rather forlorn. To one side lawyers crouch over their papers and files and whisper urgently to one another. To their right is another table with more lawyer types, and from his perch the judge looks down on all of them.  

“What is the charge?” he looks enquiringly at the prosecutor.

“The accused is charged with a heinous act, your honour, namely the willful, physical abuse of indigenous fish, your honour,” the prosecutor states, giving Billy Bass a sour grimace.

“Well, you the accused, how do you plead?” asks the judge, giving Billy Bass an icy stare.

Billy Bass looks imploringly at his defence laywers, they give a slight nod. “Not guilty, your honour,” is his soft answer.

The prosecution calls its witnesses, and they all sing the same tune. Billy Bass and his family, they aver, came uncalled for into the country and invaded all the country’s rivers and dams. He then began to physically abuse all the indigenous fish and even worse, his abuse did not stop there. “No, your honour,” the prosecution states hoarsely, “he even started to prey on them and so grew fat, while his children spread far and wide until now there is not an inland water that is not dominated by his family. In the process the indigenous fishes suffer greatly and their numbers are decreasing!”

The prosecution concludes the testimony with an impassioned plea to the court to impose the stiffest sentence – total eradication! He sinks back into his chair, mopping his sweating brow.  

The gaudily attired audience is abuzz as they respond in horror, and look despairingly at the defence – what now?

The defence lawyers huddle together, appear to be deep in discussion and then calls its witnesses. One by one they tell a totally different story. Firstly, it is stated, Billy Bass did not arrive in the country on his own free will. No, he was captured in his home country and forcibly transported to his new home. Yes, his family was allowed to accompany him. Once over here he was instructed to use the local indigenous fish as his main food source. Because the country had to construct more and more dams to save and store scarce water, the populations of its indigenous fishes were ballooning, causing massive over population problems. Because there were not sufficient local predators, a fish such as Billy Bass was urgently needed to maintain biomass balance.

Another witness explains how a thriving industry has been established, based on the presence of Billy Bass and his family. It is a major source of jobs and supports a thriving boat and tow vehicle business, while the equipment used in bass fishing is in excess of millions of rand every year.

The defence’s last witness has the packed gallery gasping as she reveals the actual criminal, namely the country-wide environmental desecration caused by mismanaged sewerage works and industrial waste in our cities, towns and villages. The sewage spilling in to rivers and dams every day results in additional environmental problems such as the huge expanses of alien, invasive plants such as water hyacinth, Kariba weed and water lettuce that feed in the sewage-enriched waters.   

“These are the actual criminals, your honour, we rest our case!”              

The judge does not take long to deliver his verdict. “Not guilty!” he declares. In addition, there is no cause for any sort of appeal. The gaudily-clad spectators rise up in unison, laughing and clapping and celebrating the verdict. The prosecution however, glowers darkly and stomp out of the court room while threatening dark deeds to come. 

As for the judge, once in his chambers he gets rid of his courtroom trappings, fishes out several rods and a tackle bag and orders his chauffeur to take him to his favourite water. His target? Family members of Billy Bass!

Continued next issue.    

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